by Janelle Legge | Jan 11, 2016 | Self Actualization |
Happy New Moon in Aquarius! This morning I read an article on hiding, something most of us have done at some stage in our lives. Usually because of negative experiences we’ve had in childhood around being criticised or maybe even ostracised or persecuted for exuberantly and innocently expressing our true self. Maybe you can relate?
You could say hiding is pretty much part of the human condition. But by a certain age and stage in our lives we need to send this avoidant style of being-in-the world packing. Because ultimately we’re embracing faulty thinking habits to avoid change or potential criticism and failure. So we hold back from revealing and expressing more of our true self.
Sometimes hiding’s also about avoiding taking responsibility for a particular area of your life.
Hiding and fear does weird things to your mind.
Each time we seduce ourselves into hiding, we lose out on the immense value we can get from stretching and growing by expressing our true self.
3 Self-Discovery Questions To Unlock Your True Self
1. What areas of your life have you been hiding, or avoiding taking decisive action or responsibility?
2. How has this been serving you?
3. What’s the long-term cost to you?
Remember, structured clear thinking leads to structured, tangible results. Change is not always exciting, magical, or amazing. It can be about just knuckling down and taking care of the mundane necessities of ordinary everyday living. Yet when we commit to this, we actually buy ourselves more freedom and options further down the track.
It’s about embracing at specific times in our lives good old discipline. If your preference and strengths are around generating ideas and big picture thinking, you need to also be able to ground your ideas via clear structures, discipline and getting down to the nitty gritty day to day details.
Some of us literally run at the mere mention of setting limits and embracing boring structures and daily disciplines. We misinterpret it as having to be, dare I say it, ordinary. Yet thousands of hours of daily practice and having good structures in place in reality is what’s required to master anything worthwhile. To become extra-ordinary. So if this ‘anti-structure’ part speaks to you, now is the time to fall in love with your nemeses – structure, discipline and commitment – so that you can come out of hiding and make your true self more visible to the world.
Now is the time to take control of the quality of your thinking, stop buying into out-dated fears that no longer apply and adhere to structure. Do this and your results will grow and your true self will thank you.
Always DO YOU.
by Janelle Legge | Aug 2, 2015 | Wellbeing |
Are you constantly other and outer focused? One of the biggest roadblocks to happiness and success I see people struggle with is being constantly focused on what they imagine other people have, do, or think.
What I often refer to as the ‘compare and despair’ or ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome is keeping women unhappy, inauthentic, and feeling isolated. This type of repetitive thinking is toxic to your self esteem, identity, and self-worth.
When you’re trapped in this kind of faulty globalizing thinking pattern everyone else is happier, more successful, luckier, gets everything they want and lives happily ever after. Even when reality glaringly points out otherwise!
This is because you are so fused with this faulty thinking pattern you can’t see the abundance and good already in your life, or what’s possible for you.
And it’s not only hurting you, it’s keeping you stuck and playing small.
So what’s behind this type of thinking?
If you’ve been stuck in these repetitive ‘compare and despair’ cycles just be aware that your subconscious mind will probably not like what I’m about to share, and will try and get you to reject it.
Here’s 2 reasons why:
- Your subconscious mind is designed to keep you exactly where you are. It will do everything it can to stop you moving in a direction that it perceives to be threatening because it is new and different to what you have always done.
- ‘Compare and despair’ thinking is a form of avoidance and distraction from getting on with what you need to be doing to have the things you really desire. It’s stopping you from taking responsibility for the choices you have made, and the results you currently have in your life.
At a core level, these subconscious beliefs and fears are driven by low self esteem, not knowing your value, or not believing deep down that you can get what you want. Somewhere in your past you’ve had experiences that made you feel not good enough, not worthy enough, or wrong in some way.
3 Powerful Steps to Break This Cycle
Image by Demetrius Washington
- Get into the present moment, now. Staying fused with negative repetitive self talk and old stories keeps you stuck in the past, anxious about the future and not in the Now. It’s actually not possible to be in the present moment and feel anxious or fearful at the same time.
- Stop trying to fill every spare minute. Less is often more. Stop, be quiet, connect to your inner wisdom and divine guidance and just listen. Learn to follow your own inner compass.
- Practice daily gratitude. Energy follows thought, what you put out comes back to you. So if your focus is constantly on what you don’t have, can’t have, will never have … guess what you will get more of. That’s right, exactly what you don’t want.
By solving these self-sabotaging patterns you’re going to find yourself moving towards what’s right for you – which is what always brings you more happiness, abundance and success.
Title image by Casey Kiernan
