by Janelle Legge | Jul 8, 2017 | How to achieve real change
Real change is hard to achieve and sustain. As a consultant and coach, I regularly hear people beating up on themselves for falling short when it comes to achieving long-term sustainable positive change. I think we’ve all done this at different times! Because most of us know first-hand that real change is hard.
The good news is we’re all capable of change and making it last – when we get out of our own way and ask for help.
That’s when our mindset, habits and beliefs can genuinely shift. It’s actually misguided, faulty thinking to believe we can change long-term engrained beliefs and habits on our own in isolation.
Taking the step to ask for help is always a turning point and game changer when it comes to personal transformation.
Just being aware that lapsing back into old, unproductive habits is part of being human and how our brains are wired is powerful in itself. A huge percentage of our daily actions and thoughts are driven by the unconscious automatic parts of our brain that regularly override the new thoughts, beliefs and habits we’re trying to instil. It takes time and sustained effort to become aware of what’s driving us on a more subconscious level and then change it.
One of the most well-known executive coaches in the world Marshall Goldsmith has found that it takes around 18 months for real change to occur in adults (and we’re talking about high-performing business people here) because whenever we decide to change, life has a way of intervening. Change is never a clear, uninterrupted and linear process. There are always disruptions along the way so you need to be adaptable, flexible and committed to the process.
I’ve also found that clients willing to commit to 12 months and beyond achieve far more lasting change than those who expect a silver bullet 6 week approach to change beliefs and behaviours they’ve spent the last 30+ years wiring into their brains and nervous systems on a daily basis.
Real change takes time. We often lose sight of this fact because there’s so much hype on the internet around passion and purpose and quick fix promises to success and happiness. There’s not nearly enough reality-check information around how to sustain your energy, focus and commitment when you’re feeling tired, depleted and out-of-love with your purpose and new goals. Because that’s the kind of terrain that real change involves.
So be kind and patient with yourself and ask for the support you need. Set yourself up for success. Don’t try and do it all on your own.
by Janelle Legge | Jan 11, 2016 | Self Actualization |
Happy New Moon in Aquarius! This morning I read an article on hiding, something most of us have done at some stage in our lives. Usually because of negative experiences we’ve had in childhood around being criticised or maybe even ostracised or persecuted for exuberantly and innocently expressing our true self. Maybe you can relate?
You could say hiding is pretty much part of the human condition. But by a certain age and stage in our lives we need to send this avoidant style of being-in-the world packing. Because ultimately we’re embracing faulty thinking habits to avoid change or potential criticism and failure. So we hold back from revealing and expressing more of our true self.
Sometimes hiding’s also about avoiding taking responsibility for a particular area of your life.
Hiding and fear does weird things to your mind.
Each time we seduce ourselves into hiding, we lose out on the immense value we can get from stretching and growing by expressing our true self.
3 Self-Discovery Questions To Unlock Your True Self
1. What areas of your life have you been hiding, or avoiding taking decisive action or responsibility?
2. How has this been serving you?
3. What’s the long-term cost to you?
Remember, structured clear thinking leads to structured, tangible results. Change is not always exciting, magical, or amazing. It can be about just knuckling down and taking care of the mundane necessities of ordinary everyday living. Yet when we commit to this, we actually buy ourselves more freedom and options further down the track.
It’s about embracing at specific times in our lives good old discipline. If your preference and strengths are around generating ideas and big picture thinking, you need to also be able to ground your ideas via clear structures, discipline and getting down to the nitty gritty day to day details.
Some of us literally run at the mere mention of setting limits and embracing boring structures and daily disciplines. We misinterpret it as having to be, dare I say it, ordinary. Yet thousands of hours of daily practice and having good structures in place in reality is what’s required to master anything worthwhile. To become extra-ordinary. So if this ‘anti-structure’ part speaks to you, now is the time to fall in love with your nemeses – structure, discipline and commitment – so that you can come out of hiding and make your true self more visible to the world.
Now is the time to take control of the quality of your thinking, stop buying into out-dated fears that no longer apply and adhere to structure. Do this and your results will grow and your true self will thank you.
Always DO YOU.
