Are you constantly other and outer focused? One of the biggest roadblocks to happiness and success I see people struggle with is being constantly focused on what they imagine other people have, do, or think.
What I often refer to as the ‘compare and despair’ or ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome is keeping women unhappy, inauthentic, and feeling isolated. This type of repetitive thinking is toxic to your self esteem, identity, and self-worth.
When you’re trapped in this kind of faulty globalizing thinking pattern everyone else is happier, more successful, luckier, gets everything they want and lives happily ever after. Even when reality glaringly points out otherwise!
This is because you are so fused with this faulty thinking pattern you can’t see the abundance and good already in your life, or what’s possible for you.
And it’s not only hurting you, it’s keeping you stuck and playing small.
So what’s behind this type of thinking?
If you’ve been stuck in these repetitive ‘compare and despair’ cycles just be aware that your subconscious mind will probably not like what I’m about to share, and will try and get you to reject it.
Here’s 2 reasons why:
- Your subconscious mind is designed to keep you exactly where you are. It will do everything it can to stop you moving in a direction that it perceives to be threatening because it is new and different to what you have always done.
- ‘Compare and despair’ thinking is a form of avoidance and distraction from getting on with what you need to be doing to have the things you really desire. It’s stopping you from taking responsibility for the choices you have made, and the results you currently have in your life.
At a core level, these subconscious beliefs and fears are driven by low self esteem, not knowing your value, or not believing deep down that you can get what you want. Somewhere in your past you’ve had experiences that made you feel not good enough, not worthy enough, or wrong in some way.
3 Powerful Steps to Break This Cycle
Image by Demetrius Washington
- Get into the present moment, now. Staying fused with negative repetitive self talk and old stories keeps you stuck in the past, anxious about the future and not in the Now. It’s actually not possible to be in the present moment and feel anxious or fearful at the same time.
- Stop trying to fill every spare minute. Less is often more. Stop, be quiet, connect to your inner wisdom and divine guidance and just listen. Learn to follow your own inner compass.
- Practice daily gratitude. Energy follows thought, what you put out comes back to you. So if your focus is constantly on what you don’t have, can’t have, will never have … guess what you will get more of. That’s right, exactly what you don’t want.
By solving these self-sabotaging patterns you’re going to find yourself moving towards what’s right for you – which is what always brings you more happiness, abundance and success.
Title image by Casey Kiernan