by Janelle Legge | Jul 15, 2017 | Self Actualization
One of the stand out traits of successful people is having the self-confidence and self-belief that you can shape your environment so that it supports you and works for you.
Knowing you can influence your environment in positive ways is one of the top self actualizing mindsets that leads to personal fulfilment and career and life success.
You’re also able to better empower others and support their success.
Feeling powerless to change your environment and circumstances comes from your past. It’s usually an indicator that you’re holding onto old beliefs around fear, security and power that you absorbed growing up.
If you’re not feeling satisfied with your life, your work or your environment, then do something to change it.
Self actualizing mindsets and behaviours are key to positive change and feeling capable and confident in the world.
Believe in your potential to grow. Try something new each day.
The fastest way to shift your self image and build self confidence is through real life experiences that empower you and show you what you’re capable of achieving.
by Janelle Legge | Jul 8, 2017 | How to achieve real change
Real change is hard to achieve and sustain. As a consultant and coach, I regularly hear people beating up on themselves for falling short when it comes to achieving long-term sustainable positive change. I think we’ve all done this at different times! Because most of us know first-hand that real change is hard.
The good news is we’re all capable of change and making it last – when we get out of our own way and ask for help.
That’s when our mindset, habits and beliefs can genuinely shift. It’s actually misguided, faulty thinking to believe we can change long-term engrained beliefs and habits on our own in isolation.
Taking the step to ask for help is always a turning point and game changer when it comes to personal transformation.
Just being aware that lapsing back into old, unproductive habits is part of being human and how our brains are wired is powerful in itself. A huge percentage of our daily actions and thoughts are driven by the unconscious automatic parts of our brain that regularly override the new thoughts, beliefs and habits we’re trying to instil. It takes time and sustained effort to become aware of what’s driving us on a more subconscious level and then change it.
One of the most well-known executive coaches in the world Marshall Goldsmith has found that it takes around 18 months for real change to occur in adults (and we’re talking about high-performing business people here) because whenever we decide to change, life has a way of intervening. Change is never a clear, uninterrupted and linear process. There are always disruptions along the way so you need to be adaptable, flexible and committed to the process.
I’ve also found that clients willing to commit to 12 months and beyond achieve far more lasting change than those who expect a silver bullet 6 week approach to change beliefs and behaviours they’ve spent the last 30+ years wiring into their brains and nervous systems on a daily basis.
Real change takes time. We often lose sight of this fact because there’s so much hype on the internet around passion and purpose and quick fix promises to success and happiness. There’s not nearly enough reality-check information around how to sustain your energy, focus and commitment when you’re feeling tired, depleted and out-of-love with your purpose and new goals. Because that’s the kind of terrain that real change involves.
So be kind and patient with yourself and ask for the support you need. Set yourself up for success. Don’t try and do it all on your own.
by Janelle Legge | Nov 7, 2013 | Group Dynamics
For a long time now I’ve held the view that it’s what’s NOT being said or seen in a group that is the most interesting and zesty part. It’s what can potentially offer the biggest opportunity for transformation and change for everyone involved.
Recently I attended a workshop that left me with mixed feelings and lots of post-event reflections. Yes, the content was interesting but there were some real disconnects going on between the financial investment required to attend and what was actually being delivered. This led me to view the experience very much through a commercial lens of sales and marketing strategies and group dynamics.
The opportunity to fully immerse myself in the actual material was lost as my fascination and annoyance grew in response to what was really going on.
So why didn’t anyone else seem to notice what was going on at the time, or if they did, why wasn’t it talked about?
Group dynamics ARE powerful. When groups are run well, they accelerate and catapult our growth and learning.
Groups have the potential to be powerfully transformative.
When they aren’t run well, they also provide learning experiences, but more of the annoying kind. One of the gifts from the latter type of group experience is the wake-up call they provide. They snap us out of a collective trance, or rose-tinted admiration fest.
Groups bring up family of origin dynamics and the feelings associated with these. When we join a group, subconsciously we experience the group leader as ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ in some shape or form. We also slide back into roles we played in our families growing up.
If a group is projecting idealized versions of ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ onto the leader, then no one wants to upset or criticize ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ – even when obvious flaws start to appear.
It’s as if everyone is under a magical spell – and we are really. It feels good when we think someone is amazing and has special value to offer. It offers us a sense of safety and certainty in uncertain times. We like to feel intimacy, acceptance and connection with others, it’s one of the great things about being in groups.
But when what needs to be talked about isn’t, invisible fields grow and become ‘pink elephants in the room’ that aren’t being acknowledged.
The tension and discomfort that this creates is usually picked up most intensely by the person(s) seeing and thinking about things in a different way to everyone else. This can feel lonely if that person happens to be you.
It takes courage to speak out and break a group spell. Raising what’s being avoided and left unsaid often evokes strong reactions. I’ve experienced this and if you have too then you know it takes internal fortitude, belief in yourself, and risking being not liked by ‘the group’.
Not always though.
Talking about what’s being avoided can come as a collective relief and release, enabling others to see and think about these invisible fields too. You might even make some new friends in the process.
Have you ever dared to break a group spell?
