by Janelle Legge | Oct 29, 2014 | Self Actualization
If you’re struggling with self-doubt and rejection anxieties that are keeping you stuck, unfulfilled, and frustrated, it’s time to start over with a fresh regime.
Knowing how to self actualize revamps your life and negative thinking scripts in amazing ways. It’s potent. Ultimately, it’s about choosing high self-worth over crappy self-esteem. It’s about releasing attitudes and hang-ups that no longer work. And when you stay in full focus mode and keep on the path, the rewards are liberating and brilliant.
3 Ways to Self Actualize So You Can Thrive
1. Set new standards
Get clear on your values, beliefs, and what you want out of life. It’s stunningly shocking how many people don’t take the time to get clear on this. Clarity around what you stand for and aspire to gives you an inner compass for how to do your life and relationships. When you have inner clarity and ground rules for how you do life, things are smoother and less complicated in your outer world. It’s also how you get your needs better met. Stop wishing for magical fixes. Own your power. Set your own course in life. Step outside your comfort zone to reach beyond your potential.
2. Love yourself unconditionally
Accept yourself just as you are right now, and allow others to be where they’re at, warts and all. Unconditional self love builds inner strength. Release your attachment to how you think you, someone else, or a situation should be. Hang-ups around rejection reflect low self-esteem. And, they’re highly addictive. Don’t buy in. Raise your standards. Love yourself first. Watch the rewards.
3. Meet new people
There’s a saying that you become like the 3-5 people that you spend the most time with. Your environment and relationships constantly shape who you become. Low self esteem gets cultivated through hanging out with people who don’t value or respect you. Do an environment and relationship audit. Remove yourself from toxic relationships or people who want you to stay at their level. Get out there and expand your interests, follow your passions and find like-minded kindred spirits.
by Janelle Legge | Oct 24, 2014 | Anxiety
Feeling anxious all the time often seems to come out of nowhere. When you’re feeling anxious all the time, it’s impossible to relax, think clearly and realistically about things and just be in the present moment.
If you can relate to this, then it’s time to sort through the muddle, stress and drama so you can reboot your mindset and steer your life back into powerful action.
To help, I’ve created a cheat sheet so you can get the insights and reality-checks you need to be anxiety-free once and for all:
Anxiety Cheat Sheet ©
1. Toxic relationship drama
One of the biggest culprits for anxiety are those toxic emotional-roller-coaster relationships that drain your energy and distort your take on reality. There’s one drama after another and it wears you down. Eventually you’re in such a muddle your common sense and self esteem have gone off on vacation and your self-confidence nose-dives. You lose YOU in the process. It’s no wonder you’re feeling anxious, you should be. If you can relate, then your daily mantra needs to be “I’m better off healthy and happy on my own, than being in a toxic relationship”. Your intuition and gut-feel always knows when you’re in a relationship or situation that’s just not good for you. The un-ease you’re feeling 24/7 is you trying to ignore the writing on the wall, pretending everything’s alright. When it’s not. It’s time to break the spell, rebuild your self esteem and attract better quality relationships.
2. Uber people pleasing
People pleasing never leads to win-win outcomes. It makes you come across as wishy washy. Difference and tension are essential alchemical ingredients for creativity and cultivating healthy interesting relationships that continually evolve. Every time you put someone else’s real or imagined needs before your own a part of you keeps tabs and gets resentful. This builds huge amounts of internal tension – at a cost. You’ll feel loads of anxiety most of the time because you’re constantly scanning other people and your environment for clues, instead of tuning into you. Get back on the self-actualizing-individuation path. Do authentic you from now on.
3. Ignoring your inner guidance
When the incessant noise of your mental chatter keeps drowning out what your heart and intuition are trying to tell you, you’re not going to be feeling too great. You need to turn down the noise and distractions. Tip: your heart holds a wealth of wisdom around what’s right for you. It’s part of your intuitive guidance system. This is where your real power and creative potential resides. Healthy constructive thinking needs to team-up and collaborate with your heart-based wisdom so you can do what’s best for you. You need quiet time alone and self-nourishing rituals to do this.
4. Being out of integrity with yourself
Going against your core values and what you know deep down to be true, is a sure-fire trigger for anxiety that can lead to depression and poor choices. Get clear on your values and internal code of ethics. Live by them. Having a clear take on how you do life gives you a powerful inner-guidance system for navigating the world and your relationships in a grounded and self-confident way. Correct self-alignment leads to wise decision-making and better quality outcomes.
5. Boundaries missing in action
If you don’t have clear personal boundaries you’re on a mission impossible to be treated with respect and get what you want and need in your relationships. You’re going to hit trouble. Everywhere you go. Because it’s a relational-jungle out there. Many people love to test boundaries, either openly or in a sneaky passive-aggressive-kind-of-way. Yet it’s boundaries that make us feel safe and secure. So if you’re not clear on your boundaries and how to put them into action with other people, you’re going to feel anxious. Your unconscious mind will be on red alert or overdrive. Because you don’t have safety strategies in place that come from having clear personal boundaries. So self-centred people on the take see you coming. The sooner you get clear on your personal boundaries and act on them, the sooner you’ll be treated with the respect you deserve and feel far less anxious.
Sorting through the muddle that’s making you feel anxious all of the time is what transmutes anxiety into self-awareness and clarity. That’s when you’re best equipped to make better choices and take more decisive action.
© 2014 | Janelle Legge
