How To Live With Uncertainty In A Stressed Out World

How To Live With Uncertainty In A Stressed Out World

Step away from the noise. Follow your own inner directives.

Learning to live with uncertainty requires a solid sense of self where you’re able to think independently and cope with whatever life delivers. Yet when the world is in a state of flux, it can take a lot of energy and self-coherence to not get pulled along with the panicked herd.

It can take a lot of inner reserve to be able to follow your own inner-directives, do your own thinking and research – and stay grounded and calm. More than 2 years into this ongoing atmospheric uncertainty and upheaval, cultivating a solid sense of Self is one of the most worthwhile things you can do amidst all of the alarmism and anomalies. We’ve had our senses bombarded with repetitive mind-numbing scripts for over 2 years now.

So if you’re feeling energetically and emotionally scattered and drained by all of this uncertainty and flux, reconnecting with your own inner guidance system is the best way to re-charge, reinvigorate and re-empower yourself.

It requires turning down the incessant noise and distraction so you can clear out the rubbish thoughts in your head and focus on what you need to do to raise the quality of your thinking, your vibration and your overall wellbeing.

Establish daily routines so you can connect with your own inner guidance

It’s taking a holistic approach. Setting up daily routines and good self-care regimes are the starting points for this. Yoga, exercise, spending time in nature, meditation and gratitude journaling are excellent grounding activities that bring you into the present moment so you can connect with that quiet, confident voice deep inside of you. You’re then better able to become aware of the quality of your daily thinking and start replacing negative thinking spirals with thoughts that empower, uplift and support you.

Uncertainty and the unknown triggers the primitive parts of your brain that’s hard-wired to constantly scan the terrain and look for danger or unusual patterns.  Learning how to live with uncertainty requires over-riding the primitive-brain’s reactive rapid fight, flight or freeze responses – or to at least be able to step back, reflect and choose to respond more constructively to whatever’s going on.

Daily meditation (even 10-15 minutes a day is powerful and life-changing), yoga and other moving meditations help build your self-reflective capabilities. They help you connect deeply with yourself, how you’re feeling within your body and create the space to become aware of the thoughts that are dominating your consciousness moment to moment. 

Listen to your intuition

People-pleasing or ignoring your inner voice to go along with the crowd, or what some in the media are telling you to do – when it just doesn’t feel right for you – not only damages your instincts, it seriously messes with your self-cohesion and erodes your self-confidence and your self-respect.

That quiet voice inside of you is there for a reason.  Listen to it and find the additional information you need before making important decisions that can have lasting results and consequences. Because each time you ignore your own inner-directives you dull your instincts, undermine your self confidence and become disconnected from your own power.

Commit to your self and your wellbeing now

So what’s one thing you can do to better support and nourish yourself starting today? Just pick one thing that you can do each day and build up from there.

Back yourself. Trust yourself more. You’ve got this.

*If you’re feeling anxious and ungrounded book an online therapy session to get the support you need.

Anxiety Coping Strategies For Uncertain Times

Anxiety Coping Strategies For Uncertain Times

Anxiety coping strategies for uncertain times lead to good mental health, more awareness, resilience, happiness, inner peace and calm. There’s the old saying “knowledge is power” and I’d add to that for today “awareness” is not only power, but the most potent way for you to disengage from collective fear and panic that’s just not serving anyone.

Never before has it been more critical to become more self aware, educated and informed so that you can take a more objective and constructive view of things.

When you’re being presented for months on end with statistics without any kind of meaningful or relevant context you have to step back and ask “What’s not being said/explained?”. Why aren’t the improvements, the recoveries and mildness of 98% of coronavirus cases being highlighted also? Why isn’t the fuller context being given?

You have to wonder about the level of consciousness of the people generating and broadcasting such negative messaging night after night – messaging that’s potentially far more harmful because of the mass fear and anxiety it creates which as we’re seeing has devastating mental, wellbeing, economic and societal impacts.

It’s widely known now how harmful stress, worry and negative thinking are to our immune systems and overall physical and mental health. The quality of our thoughts have a direct impact on our health, productivity, self-confidence and relationships.

5 Anxiety Coping Strategies For Uncertain Times

#1 Stay focused on the present moment and what’s going well

Let’s choose instead to focus on the present moment and the positives – where you have the most power and agency. Looking after yourself mentally, spiritually and physically so that you’re more present for yourself and the people who depend on you.

#2 Be the gatekeeper of your mind and focus

Key to this is taking care of your daily mindset and mental health – being the gatekeeper of the quality, accuracy and usefulness of the information you expose yourself to so that you’re not being bombarded and assaulted each day with alarmism which perpetuates feelings of fear and powerlessness and becomes addictive and hypnotic for some.

There are more positive and constructive sources of information out there if you use discernment and switch off from the nightly drama of sensationalist style news.

#3 Develop critical thinking skills

And if you don’t use critical thinking skills or listen to your own instincts and commonsense, particularly when you’re in uncharted terrain, you’re constantly giving your power away and that’s when you can slip into feelings of helplessness and inner despair.

#4 Take time out to detox your thinking, replenish and reboot

Even if you can only grab 15 minutes alone time for yourself each day, it’s worth the effort. Regular time out allows you to turn down the noise, clear out repetitive, negative thoughts and connect in with yourself and your own inner wisdom and guidance. For some people that’s having time out at their local cafe, for others it’s yoga, swimming, running, walking in nature or regular journaling. Find what works best for you and make it a regular date with yourself.

#5 Believe in yourself and learn how to hold the longer view

What you say to yourself every minute of each day is powerful. Staying grounded and at the same time optimistic and confident in your own abilities are vital skills during uncertainty.  Regularly reminding yourself that you are strong, capable, healthy and resourceful builds self confidence and self belief. As does developing the stamina and resilience to be able to hold in mind the longer range view – that this situation will eventually become yesterday’s news. It’s about focusing on how you can use challenging situations to emerge healthier, more resilient and more aware.

Anxiety Coping Tips: How To Step Out Of Fear And Back Into The Present Moment

Anxiety Coping Tips: How To Step Out Of Fear And Back Into The Present Moment

Becoming more self-aware, self-empowered, resilient and mindful – more conscious – often requires you to go against your fight/flight knee-jerk responses, which is hard. Particularly now when everyone around you is in panic and fear-brain modeTo help you be better equipped to do this, below are my top 5 Anxiety Coping Tips which will not only help you get more grounded and calm, they will set you up with some practical mindfulness skills that will serve you for the rest of your life




Anxiety Coping Tip 1 –

Stop Being Glued to the TV And Get Inner Focused

If you’ve been watching too much mainstream news and find it’s starting to govern your life, it’s time to stop doing this as it’s most likely stressing you out and exhausting your nervous system.  Learn the key points of what you need to know about this and what’s applicable to you and then switch off the media hype and all the noise. Mainstream media is designed to sensationalize, catastrophize and hypnotize you by amplifying all the fears, concerns and potential worst-case-scenarios playing out constantly in the back of your subconscious mind. This kind of daily mental diet is just not good for your body, your mind or your present and future life. Because fear, worry and stress all compromise the immune system, self-confidence and resilience.


Anxiety Coping Tip 2 –

Have Empathy for Yourself and Others

This current situation has triggered a roller coaster of emotions in most people which is a normal human response to such a perplexing, large-scale event.  When you allow yourself and others to have normal human emotions without judgement it creates space for you to then connect in with yourself, side-step all the fear-based thinking that the atmosphere has been saturated with and sink back into the power of the present moment. You’re then far better equipped to cultivate an ‘Inner Focus’ which stops you from being tossed around inside from constantly focusing on the outer environment.

The restructuring of our time and activities because of the current situation presents a rare opportunity to have more solitude and downtime to take a break from all the external noise and often mindless, habitual busyness of daily life and shift your focus within. Because that’s when you can finally access your intuition, your power, your inspiration – and importantly find some inner peace and calm. 

Going within, staying in the present and not getting constantly swept up and over-stimulated by what’s being conveyed on the tv gives you the space to also think with more objectivity and discernment. When you can disengage from the collective herd mentality, you’re better positioned to think and respond in more constructive, resilient, creative and innovative ways.

Sometimes that means just pressing the pause button until what you need to do next, what’s best for you and the people you care about, emerges from your own inner wisdom and guidance system. It’s not being constantly run and distressed by external noises and cues.


Anxiety Coping Tip 3 –

Become the Gatekeeper of  the Quality of Your Thinking

You can’t be fearful, anxious and in the present moment at the same time. Eckhart Tolle

To adapt, thrive and constructively deal with whatever life’s throwing your way it’s vital to become  the gatekeeper of the quality of your thinking. It’s learning how to recognize when you’ve been suddenly overtaken by debilitating, repetitive, fear-based thoughts.

Because if you don’t work at becoming more conscious, then you can’t step outside all of the constantly looping fear-based and negative thinking that’s going on inside your head.  

For certain things in life, we don’t always have control over whether something will happen or not. So whenever your thinking has been hijacked by negative thoughts, you need to remind yourself that your point of power is always in the present moment – so that you don’t keep defaulting to fear-brain thinking.

You have amazing resources within you that you’re probably not even fully aware of. Perhaps you already are. But if you’re really struggling at the moment with seeing yourself in an empowered way, then this is the perfect time to start.

But to do this, you need to disengage from all the external noise and turn your focus inward.


Anxiety Coping Tip 4 – 

Believe in Yourself

Believing that you’re an intelligent and capable human being who can handle whatever happens next will boost your self-confidence, self-worth and capabilities beyond what you thought was possible for you. It just takes time and practice because it’s often not easy to do straight away, particularly if you’re struggling wth low self confidence or you didn’t grow up around confident, can-do adults who modelled what self-belief looks like in real life to you.

The most potent thing you can control is your state of being and the quality of your consciousness in the present moment. Being able to master this gives you the luxury and advantage of being able to choose how you respond to things, rather than being stuck in reactive, stressed out mode.

Authentic self-belief requires becoming self-aware, which is one of the most worthwhile and life-changing decisions you’ll ever make.  It just takes persistence, practice and a real desire for personal growth and all the benefits and rewards that come with this. Choosing to become more conscious will improve your personal life, relationships, coping skills and your wellbeing. 

Never has there been a more perfect time to have anxiety coping tips that actually work, so that you can take advantage of this perplexing situation and connect with your heart and deeper wisdom. Something you’re only able to do by focusing inwards and adopting a calmer, more grounded and embodied stance.


Anxiety Coping Tip 5 – 

Become Aware of What You’re Telling Yourself Each Day


Your reality becomes shaped by what you keep telling yourself every single day. And much of this is influenced by the quality and style of stories you absorb from the tv, news and mainstream media. Now is the time to do a self-audit and detox your mind.

Becoming more aware of the rubbish that’s floating around in your mind each day – and of the quality of information you’re regularly exposing your subconscious to – is the fastest way to disengage from fearful, anxious, distorted and sensationalized thinking that just isn’t serving you, or where you’re wanting to go in life.

It allows you to step back into the present moment which is where you’re able to access and cultivate empowering, positive, high-quality thinking that transforms your consciousness, your life and your world.

Learning how to do this consistently will not only bring you more peace and calm, it will dramatically raise the quality of your daily thinking and your present and future life.

If you’re struggling to apply these anxiety coping tips and simply can’t find relief or a sense of purpose in such turbulent and uncertain times, I’m here to support you. To find out more, click here

If you found my Top 5 Anxiety Coping Tips useful, please share this article with someone who could benefit. 

Self Actualization Mindset Tip: Do Something New

Self Actualization Mindset Tip: Do Something New

One of the stand out traits of successful people is having the self-confidence and self-belief that you can shape your environment so that it supports you and works for you.

Knowing you can influence your environment in positive ways is one of the top self actualizing mindsets that leads to personal fulfilment and career and life success.

You’re also able to better empower others and support their success.

Feeling powerless to change your environment and circumstances comes from your past. It’s usually an indicator that you’re holding onto old beliefs around fear, security and power that you absorbed growing up.

If you’re not feeling satisfied with your life, your work or your environment, then do something to change it.

Self actualizing mindsets and behaviours are key to positive change and feeling capable and confident in the world.

Believe in your potential to grow. Try something new each day.

The fastest way to shift your self image and build self confidence is through real life experiences that empower you and show you what you’re capable of achieving.


Why Most People Don’t Want To Take On Bullies

Why Most People Don’t Want To Take On Bullies

Bullying is a big issue in the workplace, amongst professionals and within professional training programs and associations and lots of other areas of our lives. Our earliest experiences of bullying usually occurs at home or at school.

What’s fascinating is the reluctance of people to take on a bully, regardless of their title, education, professional standing and level of power that they hold in the workplace, or in society.


Because bullying usually triggers limbic brain flight or freeze (and rarely fight) responses. It instantly takes people to earlier memories of being bullied themselves.

So instead of taking on the bully and immediately sorting it out, they revert to head in the sand “ostrich syndrome”, hoping the problem will just go away.

It’s because of the way our brains have evolved. In evolutionary terms, the reflective part of our brain that can look at things more objectively is the most recent part of our brain to have evolved. So it’s the most vulnerable. It’s the first area of our brain to get shut down and compromised when the more primitive, hard-wired and reactive fight, flight or freeze parts take over when triggered by a perceived danger or threat. These primitive parts of our brain are ancient, hard-wired and much faster at processing information because their sole function is to keep you alive and away from danger and threat.

Bullies work by traumatizing their prey. It’s how they’ve been wired neurologically and in their nervous system to deal with conflict, set backs, and feelings like envy, inferiority and frustration. Because most bullies come from a background of trauma and abuse, having been bullied themselves – whether at home or school.

Narcissism lies at the core of serial bullies, with a glaring inability to see anyone other than themselves.

Bullies expect other people to behave according to their rules and view of the world. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement and become enraged when other people don’t meet their demands, or say “No” to them.

And because of the way our brains are designed, when bullied, most people freeze in their responses and thinking, being taken instantly back to earlier memories of being bullied or disempowered as a child, unable to draw on the more reflective, objective and solution-focused parts of their brain.

How Bullying Plays Out In The Workplace

Here are 3 classic examples of how bullies operate at work:

  1. Bullies hate other people putting forward ideas or approaches that don’t align with their agendas or power plays. When someone puts forward a different approach, the bully then looks for ways to retaliate. Usually finding ways to publicly criticise and put this person down in front of their superiors, colleagues, or peers – verbally or via email. Bullies thrive on smear campaigns as a means of restoring their wounded egos and view of how other people should treat them and behave.
  2. Bullies see someone else with more talent as a major threat. It triggers issues around their own self worth and puffed up sense of importance and entitlement. This often snowballs into acts of destructive envy. The bully sets out to pull this person down by undermining, bullying and spreading malicious gossip about them behind their back.
  3. Bullies are divisive and manipulative. They set out to enlist weaker personalities so that they can play a numbers game to further intimidate and alienate their target. Because bullies rely on external validation for their sense of self and self-esteem, they need “supporters” and “enablers” in order to thrive.

7 Ways To Spot A Serial Bully

7 ways to spot a serial bully

Image by Viktor Hanacek

Serial bullies have a distinct behavioural profile and modus operandi. Most people don’t even know what this is. Knowing how to identify a bully’s behavioural patterns helps you to be able to deal with them from an empowered position by getting support and setting appropriate boundaries. Here are 7 ways to spot a serial bully at work, in groups, or in your relationships:

  1. One of the first warning signs that a bully is in your sphere is the conspicuous repetitive trail of stories of drama, run-ins and disputes with other people and organisations. They either tell you this directly, or you’re alerted to this by other people. You need to stop and mentally flag this before you proceed any further in your dealings with them. Avoid joining “their club”.
  2. Bullies are highly narcissistic so when they’re directly confronted over their behaviour, they refuse to see or own their role in events. Rather than being accountable, they’ll duck and weave around the truth and twist events so that they’re seen as the victim. Because with bullies it’s always someone else’s fault. But the common denominator in all of their stories and dramas is “them”.
  3. Bullies try to strip you down, shame, defame and humiliate you in private and often in front of others, the wider the audience the better.
  4. Bullies resort to strong-arm tactics to intimidate. They’ll even threaten physical violence if you don’t agree to their demands.
  5. Bullies torment their prey by stalking in person, by phone, or cyber stalking (all criminal offences) or by sending personally attacking emails in an attempt to further intimidate and persecute.
  6. Empathy is not in the skill set of bullies. They have little to no capacity for self-insight.
  7. It’s impossible to reason with a bully in a logical and rational way, because they’ll always try and draw you and others into their “story” and version of events.

I’ve seen bullying across a lot of different situations, both when coaching private clients and in the workplace. I’ve also experienced it in action in professional training programs and associations and like most people, bullying was a playground dynamic at school. Repeatedly in all of these situations, no one was prepared to take on the bully head-on.

Most people in the workplace, including those in roles of influence, often just hope the bully will one day disappear and go and annoy someone else. The bully is the “hot potato” problem that everyone just wants to pass on.

But every time a bully isn’t taken on, people are silently colluding and enabling them. Passing them on to other unsuspecting people and organisations.

Taking On A Bully

taking on a bully

Image by Joshua Earle

Only once in my career as a change consultant have I ever seen a bully in the workplace taken on immediately and directly. It was refreshing and inspiring to see. My client at the time, a senior level executive, had a member of his team bullied by someone else in the organisation.

This time the bully had picked the wrong person.

My client had no qualms about going straight to the bully and drawing a clear line in the sand. He was physically fit, confident and quite at home dealing with bullies. He was able to think clearly, objectively and therefore take quick, correct action. The problem was immediately addressed and not left to fester and it was back to business as usual. The bully had been put back in his place. There were no future attempts to bully anyone on this person’s team.

Unfortunately this is not the norm with serial bullies. Organisations are usually slow to respond, particularly if the person concerned is considered to be a major “rain-maker”. Things usually hit crisis point before correct action is followed.

I believe that a big part of the problem is that most people aren’t familiar with the behavioural patterns of serial bullies. Unless you grew up street-wise and with rat-like cunning.

I hope you now you have a clearer picture as to what a serial bully looks like in action. It’s important that you know that being bullied isn’t something you should be trying to deal with privately on your own. Because most likely you’re one in a long line of many others that this bully has tried to intimidate. Just knowing this fact alone can be a valuable reality-check and re-empower you to take appropriate action. Always seek help if you or someone you know is being harassed by a bully. Bullying is not something to try and resolve on your own.

Copyright © 2015 Janelle Legge

Title Image by Samuel Zeller


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