Defeating Negative Self Talk: How To Free Yourself

by Janelle Legge | Sep 24, 2015 | Wellbeing | 0 comments

Are you sick and tired of negative self talk that at times just seems to go on and on relentlessly inside your head? You know, the critical and dismissive negative voice that picks everything (including you) apart, and is never satisfied. Ever.

If you’re ready to send your negative self talk off on a permanent vacation, then you’re in the right place. Because I’m going to share with you one of my most deft manoeuvres for outsmarting and defeating negative self talk once and for all. Mastering this skill is a total game-changer.

But first of all let’s look at what absolutely doesn’t work when you’re wanting to break free from negative self talk:

1. Trying to debate your negative self talk – and win

This is a common tactic. But trying to debate and argue back with negative self talk to show it who’s really the boss is an ineffective and pointless exercise. It’s a bit like trying to win an argument with a highly opinionated, “know it all”. And when you fall into this trap, the arguments become circular, more and more irrational and ridiculous, and go no where.

2. The “I’m not listening to you” approach

_{Image by Jan Vašek}

Trying to ignore negative self talk and replace it with sweet positive thoughts instead doesn’t work for very long either. As just about everyone who’s tried this finds out. Negative thoughts are simply more powerful and usually win in the end. Often doing this just makes them come back even stronger. And they’ll totally shoot down and crush the positive thoughts you’ve tried to embrace instead.

So why don’t these tactics work?

Because negative self talk is driven in part by your lizard brain that’s been primed to only see danger and threat. It’s primary job is to keep you alive and safe. But it hates change and especially risks, no matter how well calculated – seeing them as potential threats. And it’s this part of your brain that totally backs and supports all of those subconscious self-limiting, negative beliefs you’ve absorbed from other people and your tribe as a child.

In fact around 90% of your negative self talk doesn’t even belong to you, or the reality you’re in. It’s been shaped and formed in a different time and place. So if your ancestors lived through difficult times, negative self talk, and a lack of optimism, can become a way of coping with life. It helps justify how bad and disappointing life and other people can be. Negative self talk usually masks feelings of powerlessness to be able to change the course of your life.

But that’s not you. Right. You’re living in different times.

Defeating Negative Self Talk – Fast

_{Image by Anthony Delanoix}

Okay, so let’s get to the fun part. We’re going to send your negative self talk on a long, well deserved vacation. After all, it’s been working day and night, often going all out to keep you stuck in exactly the same place.

Because this is your time, your life, and it’s time to leave the old version of your inherited ‘negative self talk’ behind.

Now this is going to sound counterintuitive, but hang in there because it works.

The fastest and most effective way to outsmart negative self talk and send it on it’s way is to “thank it” for it’s input. You need to imagine that the part of you that’s driving your negative self talk, actually thinks it’s being helpful and keeping you safe. It doesn’t want you to make any kind of change that will take you beyond where you’re at now – which is the only reality that it knows. And optimistic, expansive thinking leading to a bigger, more exciting version of your life is its nemesis.

So you need to give this part of you some recognition and validation. That’s right. The next time your negative self talk chimes in, you need to dialogue internally with it as if you’re talking to a well-meaning relative or friend. Graciously and politely thank it for all of it’s opinions, and negative cynical advice. After all, it’s just doing it’s job, right.

Then watch what happens next. Silence. Pause. There’s no back-chat, or counter arguments with the usual circular and repetitive scripts going on inside your head. Your negative self talk has suddenly gone all quiet. You can think clearly again, and move forward.

So start thanking your negative self talk and then just feel it melt away. Doing this consistently will bring you more freedom, wellbeing, and optimism, and change your life in powerful ways.

_{Title image by Luis Llerena}

Tags: How to stop negative self talk, Mindfulness Tips, Self Empowerment, Success Mindset Mastery

Does Your Self Image Reflect Who You Want To Become?

by Janelle Legge | Sep 23, 2015 | Self Image | 0 comments

Ready to raise your self confidence and self image so that you can get better results and be the best version of yourself? If you’re feeling stuck and scattered, guessing at what you should try next and working way too hard for uninspiring rewards, it’s time to do some game-changing moves.

Because most likely there’s a major disconnect going on between your current self image and who you’re aspiring to be. And anyone who’s ever dared to dream big and aim for more than what they’ve got has experienced at some stage the frustration of knowing you’re destined for bigger things, but not having the right map and guidance to help you evolve into the best version of yourself.

To shift this, because you do deserve better, add these 3 key foundational skills to your daily regime and then watch things start to transform in tangible ways:

3 Steps To A Positive Self Image

_{Image by Eli De Faria}

1. Give yourself diverse and positive experiences regularly

It’s the quality of your environment, thinking, and experiences that powerfully influences and shapes your self image – and how your brain gets wired every single day.

Why? Because your brain is an organ of adaptation that’s built by experience – with 70% of it’s structure being added after birth. This highlights the importance of being in nurturing, validating, and experience-rich environments from the moment we’re born and throughout our entire life. That’s if you want to have healthy self-esteem, reach your highest potential, and live a meaningful, rich, and rewarding life.

So always be open to new experiences and do what inspires you. Your brain, your self image, and your self confidence will thrive.

2. Cultivate quality relationships

Neurons and humans are social entities. This means your brain is continuously being influenced and wired by who you spend the most time with. And it thrives on meaningful social interactions. So be selective. Surround yourself with optimistic, self-aware, interesting people. Limit your exposure to toxic people that drain your energy – the ones who trigger you into self-doubt, feeling bad about yourself, or less-than. Cut them loose.

Avoid discussing your life/career/biz aspirations with anyone who doesn’t support or ‘get’ you, or your goals. Their negativity, envy, doubt, or unresolved issues around not having pursued their own goals will impact you on subtle, or not so subtle levels. All of a sudden you’ll find yourself second-guessing your dreams and goals.

3. Seek out mentors

Nothing will accelerate you taking quantum leaps in any area of your life faster than hanging out with people who are already where you want to be. It will powerfully shift how you’re seeing yourself, your life and what’s possible. That’s because of the power of mirror neurons in your brain that bridge your sensory, motor and emotional circuitry.

When you spend time with successful people that you admire, your mirror neurons get powerfully activated. Everything that you’re taking in when you hang out with them – from their mindset and behaviours to their more subconscious attitudes and beliefs around things like wealth, abundance and how to go about achieving success – is triggering corresponding motor and emotional activations in your brain and body via your mirror neurons. How cool is that. It’s the closest thing you’ll ever get to an instant download for how to become the person you want to be. The best version of yourself.

_{Title image by Rocksana Rocksana}

Tags: Boost Self Confidence, Overcoming low self esteem, Positive Self Image, Rewire Your Brain, Rewire your brain for success, Self development tips, Toxic People

Welcome to a space where you can turn down the noise and distractions and become more inner and present moment focused. That’s when you’re able to more fully access and harness your authenticity, your own inner wisdom and live your best life.

Doing the journey of self discovery and investing in your self development and wellbeing changes your entire life, beyond what you ever thought was possible for you.

Janelle Legge