by Janelle Legge | Feb 25, 2015 | How To Self Actualize
If you’re not backing yourself and your own ideas then knowing the 7 essential self actualizing mindsets and behaviours is the antidote to living your life according to someone else’s ideas and rules.
It’s the pathway to evolving a style and philosophy that comes from your centre.
Choosing self actualization as a way of life, changes your life.
And if you look at artists, explorers, entrepreneurs, creators – anyone who’s totally rocking it and having a blast living their brand, you’ll find self actualization as one of the top common traits all these people share.
But most of us need regular inspiration and reminders to stay on the self actualization path. And it’s totally doable.
Self actualization is about cultivating attitudes, mindsets and behaviours that let you discover from real experiences what’s personally meaningful for you. What you’re made of. And to create from this.
It’s the pathway to reaching your perceived potential. But you don’t stop there. You keep going way beyond this into infinite possibility.
Here’s how you can get on the self actualizing path, if you’re not already, and stay on it:
7 Essential Self Actualizing Mindsets and Behaviours
1. Be curious
Curiosity coupled with optimism are trade mark qualities of self actualizers. Curiosity creates optimism, openness and excitement. When you’re in these states, you have more energy. You’re more vitalized in a natural and healthy way. It’s curiosity and optimism that keeps self-actualizers going, wanting to forge new paths, explore and test new ideas and see what happens next.
If you’re wondering what curiosity and optimism looks like in action in real life and in business, think Richard Branson, the high-end version of self actualization. If you can model just some of this kind of approach to life, you’re doing well.
2. Grow your potential
Self actualizers LOVE to learn and see personal development as a birth right. They totally get the value of investing in themselves and know they are worth it. They’ve learnt from experience that the more they develop and stretch themselves personally and in their biz/career, the richer and more amazing their life becomes. And everyone around them also benefits.
3. Back your own ideas
Self actualizers have confidence in their own ideas. They’re prepared to back themselves. It’s this kind of self-belief that frees you up to be creative and innovative. It’s not about waiting around for, or relying on, the approval or opinions of other people. Self actualizers believe they have agency in the world and can positively influence their environment and the lives of other people through their ideas and creations.
4. Know and Trust yourself
At the centre of self actualization is being self-aware. Get clear on your values, beliefs and what you want out of life. Self awareness is also about being intuitively tuned into what you’re feeling. It’s seeing your feelings as a live stream of vital clues and information about yourself, other people and situations. Self actualizers know how to decipher and trust their gut-feel on things. And if this is an area where you feel you’re not strong, it’s something that you can learn. It’s about first “looking inward, then moving forward” ~ Rachel Zoe
5. Love yourself
Being self-aware is also about self acceptance and self compassion. And applying the same consideration to other people. It’s about being okay with where you’re at – at any time in your life. Just being you and being in the moment. Self love is also about believing that you’re worthy enough to get your needs met. That you can go out into the world with self belief and confidence and get pretty much whatever it is that you want out of life.
6. Complete Things
Self actualizers know when they need to be disciplined and focused and can stay on task until the job gets done. They also get the value of bringing in the right people and resources. It’s through building a track record of bringing things to completion, that you build self-confidence, self-trust and self-belief. The positive reinforcement you get from each successful completion encourages you to take on bigger and better things in life, knowing you’ve got the goods to make things happen.
7. Live your passions
Self-actualizers are prepared to turn a personal passion into a successful enterprise, or at least give it a go and see what happens next. It’s a stand out quality that sets them apart. Most people don’t follow their passions, for a whole range of stories and beliefs that they have bought into. At a cost. Living your passions is enriching on all levels, because you’re doing and experiencing life through all of your senses. It’s great for building in new neural pathways from having meaningful and vitalizing experiences. When you live this way, you thrive. So start taking your passions more seriously. Optimism and passion are great for your health. They release endorphins and all the feel good chemicals in a beneficial way. Your passions are vital clues as to which pathways will nourish and reward you the most on a mind, body and soul level.
So if you want to feel self confident and start backing yourself and your ideas, self actualization is where it’s at.
“Our self feeling in this world depends entirely on
what we back ourselves to be and do.”
~ William James
by Janelle Legge | Nov 25, 2014 | Living With Purpose
Are you stuck in a mindless default drive of over-doing, running from one bright shiny object to the next, or are you living your life on purpose? There’s a lot of misplaced value these days on DOING and being busy all the time. It’s a seductive trap that disconnects you from your life’s purpose, your easiest pathway to creating a life in which you thrive.
When you’re trapped on the treadmill of busyness, you’re unconsciously buying into values, beliefs, and goals that are not your own. You’re a slave to the outer-directed life. And the more you live this way, the more disempowered, distracted and dissatisfied you’ll become. Deep down you know you deserve better.
If you’re feeling it’s time to reclaim authentic you, set bold goals and access your wealth generating potentials, then there’s a smooth sailing and clear pathway for this.
Purposeful living, having a mission, is your most powerful way of expressing authentic you. Be your own boss. Enrich your life and the world in unimaginable ways. It’s your most clever and lucrative manoeuvre for working your gifts and talents with zen-like focus for maximum reward.
Because when you don’t have purpose, you get swept up into over-doing and comparing yourself to everyone else. Your energy and focus are scattered and everything feels like a struggle. Nothing comes together with synchronicity and ease. Because you’re working against the natural rhythms and cycles of life that support you in manifesting whatever it is that you want.
Finding your purpose and then living it is your most competitive advantage for success. It’s the ultimate inner image for outer success reset. You’re more confident, focused, and disciplined. Purpose fulfilment for the greater good releases self sabotage and self obsessive habits. They’re no longer so seductive and attractive to you. You’ve outgrown them.
If you’re not yet living your life on purpose it’s so worth the journey. It’s your most direct and potent pathway for self-actualizing and sharing your natural strengths and talents with the world.
Image: Caitlin Brown
by Janelle Legge | Oct 29, 2014 | Self Actualization
If you’re struggling with self-doubt and rejection anxieties that are keeping you stuck, unfulfilled, and frustrated, it’s time to start over with a fresh regime.
Knowing how to self actualize revamps your life and negative thinking scripts in amazing ways. It’s potent. Ultimately, it’s about choosing high self-worth over crappy self-esteem. It’s about releasing attitudes and hang-ups that no longer work. And when you stay in full focus mode and keep on the path, the rewards are liberating and brilliant.
3 Ways to Self Actualize So You Can Thrive
1. Set new standards
Get clear on your values, beliefs, and what you want out of life. It’s stunningly shocking how many people don’t take the time to get clear on this. Clarity around what you stand for and aspire to gives you an inner compass for how to do your life and relationships. When you have inner clarity and ground rules for how you do life, things are smoother and less complicated in your outer world. It’s also how you get your needs better met. Stop wishing for magical fixes. Own your power. Set your own course in life. Step outside your comfort zone to reach beyond your potential.
2. Love yourself unconditionally
Accept yourself just as you are right now, and allow others to be where they’re at, warts and all. Unconditional self love builds inner strength. Release your attachment to how you think you, someone else, or a situation should be. Hang-ups around rejection reflect low self-esteem. And, they’re highly addictive. Don’t buy in. Raise your standards. Love yourself first. Watch the rewards.
3. Meet new people
There’s a saying that you become like the 3-5 people that you spend the most time with. Your environment and relationships constantly shape who you become. Low self esteem gets cultivated through hanging out with people who don’t value or respect you. Do an environment and relationship audit. Remove yourself from toxic relationships or people who want you to stay at their level. Get out there and expand your interests, follow your passions and find like-minded kindred spirits.
by Janelle Legge | Oct 24, 2014 | Anxiety
Feeling anxious all the time often seems to come out of nowhere. When you’re feeling anxious all the time, it’s impossible to relax, think clearly and realistically about things and just be in the present moment.
If you can relate to this, then it’s time to sort through the muddle, stress and drama so you can reboot your mindset and steer your life back into powerful action.
To help, I’ve created a cheat sheet so you can get the insights and reality-checks you need to be anxiety-free once and for all:
Anxiety Cheat Sheet ©
1. Toxic relationship drama
One of the biggest culprits for anxiety are those toxic emotional-roller-coaster relationships that drain your energy and distort your take on reality. There’s one drama after another and it wears you down. Eventually you’re in such a muddle your common sense and self esteem have gone off on vacation and your self-confidence nose-dives. You lose YOU in the process. It’s no wonder you’re feeling anxious, you should be. If you can relate, then your daily mantra needs to be “I’m better off healthy and happy on my own, than being in a toxic relationship”. Your intuition and gut-feel always knows when you’re in a relationship or situation that’s just not good for you. The un-ease you’re feeling 24/7 is you trying to ignore the writing on the wall, pretending everything’s alright. When it’s not. It’s time to break the spell, rebuild your self esteem and attract better quality relationships.
2. Uber people pleasing
People pleasing never leads to win-win outcomes. It makes you come across as wishy washy. Difference and tension are essential alchemical ingredients for creativity and cultivating healthy interesting relationships that continually evolve. Every time you put someone else’s real or imagined needs before your own a part of you keeps tabs and gets resentful. This builds huge amounts of internal tension – at a cost. You’ll feel loads of anxiety most of the time because you’re constantly scanning other people and your environment for clues, instead of tuning into you. Get back on the self-actualizing-individuation path. Do authentic you from now on.
3. Ignoring your inner guidance
When the incessant noise of your mental chatter keeps drowning out what your heart and intuition are trying to tell you, you’re not going to be feeling too great. You need to turn down the noise and distractions. Tip: your heart holds a wealth of wisdom around what’s right for you. It’s part of your intuitive guidance system. This is where your real power and creative potential resides. Healthy constructive thinking needs to team-up and collaborate with your heart-based wisdom so you can do what’s best for you. You need quiet time alone and self-nourishing rituals to do this.
4. Being out of integrity with yourself
Going against your core values and what you know deep down to be true, is a sure-fire trigger for anxiety that can lead to depression and poor choices. Get clear on your values and internal code of ethics. Live by them. Having a clear take on how you do life gives you a powerful inner-guidance system for navigating the world and your relationships in a grounded and self-confident way. Correct self-alignment leads to wise decision-making and better quality outcomes.
5. Boundaries missing in action
If you don’t have clear personal boundaries you’re on a mission impossible to be treated with respect and get what you want and need in your relationships. You’re going to hit trouble. Everywhere you go. Because it’s a relational-jungle out there. Many people love to test boundaries, either openly or in a sneaky passive-aggressive-kind-of-way. Yet it’s boundaries that make us feel safe and secure. So if you’re not clear on your boundaries and how to put them into action with other people, you’re going to feel anxious. Your unconscious mind will be on red alert or overdrive. Because you don’t have safety strategies in place that come from having clear personal boundaries. So self-centred people on the take see you coming. The sooner you get clear on your personal boundaries and act on them, the sooner you’ll be treated with the respect you deserve and feel far less anxious.
Sorting through the muddle that’s making you feel anxious all of the time is what transmutes anxiety into self-awareness and clarity. That’s when you’re best equipped to make better choices and take more decisive action.
© 2014 | Janelle Legge
by Janelle Legge | Apr 27, 2014 | Relationships
Are you struggling to attract the right partner? If you are, then it most likely comes down to 2 things – low self worth in your relationships and not being clear on what it is that you want.
And if you’re totally fed up and over finding love hard work and just not happening for you, that means you’re ready to release the toxic and addictive love patterns that have been tripping you up.
Here are 3 potent and proven steps you can take to find love that lasts:
3 Essential Steps to Finding Love
1. Get Clear On What You’re Looking For
One of the most common blocks to attracting the right partner is not being clear on the qualities and values you’re looking for in someone else. If you’re not clear on what you want, then you’re putting out unclear, confusing messages to the universe, so guess what you attract? Anything and everything. It’s a random selection process that doesn’t get you far. You’ll most likely attract people who don’t want to commit to you beyond the first couple of dates because you’re not clear on what it is that you want. Maybe this is what you’ve been experiencing?
Knowing what you want, and owning it, is what attracts quality people to you with healthy self esteem.
2. Know Your Value And Worth
You need to be the type of person you’re wanting to attract. This is probably not what you wanted to hear, right? But it’s how it really works. In healthy relationships, peers attract peers. So your life needs to be in order and happening. You’re more likely to attract someone who’s interesting and has it all together when you’re feeling good about yourself and are out doing the things that you love. You’re going for high self worth from now on.
Don’t fall into the Hollywood script fantasy of waiting around for someone to rescue you. That’s wishful thinking, and not realizing your own potential.
3. Make Daily Decisions That Support What You Want
To magnetize what you want, it always comes down to who you’re being every single day. Are you tolerating things that go against your values? Are you not speaking up for what you want, what you need and what you really believe? Are your actions and words matching your deepest wishes and desires?
Your inner image needs to match and support what you’re wanting to create on the outside. This is important because over 90% of communication is non-verbal. Other people quickly work out how much you value, or don’t value, yourself and treat you accordingly. It happens in all of your relationships – in your personal life, family and in your business and career.
It’s your repetitive daily thoughts and actions that determine what you attract into your present and future life. It’s making the law of attraction work for you. Because you know you deserve better.
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