by Janelle Legge | Jul 27, 2015 | Wild Woman Archetype Series |
“Within the wild psyche are a woman’s fiercest instincts of survival. But, unless she practices her inner and outer freedoms regularly, submission, passivity, and time spent in captivity dull her innate gifts of vision, perception, confidence … the ones she needs for standing on her own.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Having to sneak off to pursue your passions, or hide and suppress your feelings, opinions, and personal truth are all red flags. They come at a cost. Ongoing suppression of your real self shuts down your vitality, and your ability to see things for how they really are.
Perceptive discernment comes from real life experiences, reality-testing and learning from mistakes so that instinct-numbing patterns don’t get hard-wired into your brain and nervous system.
When you catch yourself hiding essential parts of your being, or denying your gut-feel and inner knowing, read this as a red light signal to step back and review what’s really going on.
Image by Jessica Polar
by Janelle Legge | Jul 21, 2015 | Wild Woman Archetype Series |
“I believe that all women and men are born gifted. However, and truly, there has been little to describe the psychological lives and ways of gifted women, talented women, creative women. There is, on the other hand, much writ about the weakness and foibles of humans in general and women in particular. But in the case of the Wild Woman archetype, we must be more interested in the thoughts, feelings, and endeavours which strengthen women…”
Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With The Wolves
Image by Josh Felise
by Janelle Legge | Jun 24, 2015 | Relationships |
Are you creating unnecessary angst in your life by trying to mind read what someone is thinking or saying about you? It’s incredibly common, so many of us do it at some time or other. Being able to switch from mind reading and stop worrying about what someone else thinks of you is a powerful way to boost your self confidence and self esteem and put yourself back in the driver’s seat in life.
So if you have been spending too much time and energy trying to mind read what someone else thinks about you, here are 2 quick and proven remedies to break this toxic, time-wasting habit.
2 Ways You Can Break the Mind Reading Cycle And Boost Your Self Confidence
1) Ask Yourself the Right Question
If you’re burning up loads of emotional energy mind reading, you need to ask yourself “How exactly do I know this?”. 99% of the time the answer to this question is “I don’t”. That’s because you’ve created assumptions and beliefs based on old feelings and hurts that have been triggered by someone else. Often it can just be someone’s facial expression or voice tone that can reactivate old emotional and self esteem wounds. And because this all happens in an instant, it’s outside your conscious awareness. So you’re left with negative, painful feelings, not really knowing why, that you’ve then tried to decipher and make sense of. Usually on your own. When you do this, you start to create a story around why someone has made you feel this way, convincing yourself that it’s factual and true. So asking yourself this question is a great way to delete self-defeating, mind reading scripts fast, so that you can refocus and move on.
2) Reality Test
If you’re really stuck and just can’t unhook from replaying over and over again in your head what you imagine someone else is thinking or saying about you, go and talk to them. This takes courage. Go with an open mind and don’t be attached to the outcome. If need be apply the 24+ hour wait principle to let your emotions cool down first so you can think more clearly. When you take the risk to reality test your mind reading stories and scripts by going straight to the source, you’re reclaiming your personal power by getting out of your head and into action.
Reality testing your thinking and assumptions is a powerful way to liberate yourself from other people’s validation, opinions and approval.
Title Image by Maria Victoria Heredia Reyes
by Janelle Legge | Dec 24, 2014 | Relationships
Christmas and the holiday season can be a mixed time of year, when we most need to feel more self empowered and less vulnerable. It’s a time to wind down, step back from our work and express love and gratitude to the people that really matter in our lives. It can also be intense, bringing old wounds and past disappointments to the surface.
3 Self Empowerment Steps To Having More Love in Your Life
Step 1 – If you’re being triggered emotionally by something someone that you care about has said or done, ask yourself “Do I want more love in my life, or do I always want to be right?”.
There are always multiple sides to any situation or disagreement. When we’re stuck in our ego, which is our self-protection default setting, we become rigid and fixed in our thinking and then up go the walls. We’re right and they are wrong! Then nothing gets in, especially love. Studies in molecular biology show that holding grudges actually hurts you on a cellular level. It not only hurts you physically, it also keeps you stuck, feeling disempowered and like a victim. Remember that you get to choose how you respond to things.
Step 2 – Give others permission to be exactly who they are and take responsibility for your own emotional needs and care.
This involves letting go of your expectations for how others should be or how they should respond. Boundaries give you strategies. If you’re clear on your boundaries and values, which is one of the key responsibilities of being an adult, then you’re able to look after yourself in your relationships. Clear boundaries give you a relational roadmap, and the psychological space to not be attached to or caught up in other people’s reactions, behaviours and dramas. When you know how to get your own needs met in a healthy and safe way – and give others permission to be who they are – life becomes less stressful, more loving and abundant.
Step 3 – Say the word “love” regularly, to yourself and to the people you deeply care for and appreciate.
Tell others that you love them. Love is an incredibly powerful word. Have you noticed when you say the word “love” out loud it actually activates your heart centre and softens your feelings? It’s healing, powerful and feels good. It also helps to pull you back into your heart-centre – which is grounding and empowering.
by Janelle Legge | Nov 25, 2014 | Living With Purpose
Are you stuck in a mindless default drive of over-doing, running from one bright shiny object to the next, or are you living your life on purpose? There’s a lot of misplaced value these days on DOING and being busy all the time. It’s a seductive trap that disconnects you from your life’s purpose, your easiest pathway to creating a life in which you thrive.
When you’re trapped on the treadmill of busyness, you’re unconsciously buying into values, beliefs, and goals that are not your own. You’re a slave to the outer-directed life. And the more you live this way, the more disempowered, distracted and dissatisfied you’ll become. Deep down you know you deserve better.
If you’re feeling it’s time to reclaim authentic you, set bold goals and access your wealth generating potentials, then there’s a smooth sailing and clear pathway for this.
Purposeful living, having a mission, is your most powerful way of expressing authentic you. Be your own boss. Enrich your life and the world in unimaginable ways. It’s your most clever and lucrative manoeuvre for working your gifts and talents with zen-like focus for maximum reward.
Because when you don’t have purpose, you get swept up into over-doing and comparing yourself to everyone else. Your energy and focus are scattered and everything feels like a struggle. Nothing comes together with synchronicity and ease. Because you’re working against the natural rhythms and cycles of life that support you in manifesting whatever it is that you want.
Finding your purpose and then living it is your most competitive advantage for success. It’s the ultimate inner image for outer success reset. You’re more confident, focused, and disciplined. Purpose fulfilment for the greater good releases self sabotage and self obsessive habits. They’re no longer so seductive and attractive to you. You’ve outgrown them.
If you’re not yet living your life on purpose it’s so worth the journey. It’s your most direct and potent pathway for self-actualizing and sharing your natural strengths and talents with the world.
Image: Caitlin Brown
